Train Wreck (Katniss x Haymitch Haymiss Fanfic)
by SotaPop
Summary: [Warning Spoilers!] After the games ended, when everyone was back at home, Katniss has nobody left to turn to. Prim is dead and Katniss believes it's her fault, and her mother and Gale have completely left. Well... at least she's not completely alone, she does have one person left to go to. Haymitch. As always, I do not own these characters.
1. Sweetheart

I wake up in a cold sweat, with a small scream. I look at my clock. 6:00. At least I got five hours of sleep in. Prim. That's all I care about, I can feel the guilt, and it's my fault. She was only thirteen. _My name is Katniss Everdeen, I'm twenty-one years old, I live in district twelve, it has been five years since my first hunger games, and I have no friends or family left, except for Haymitch._ I stop short, I'm both tired of this exercise and have nothing else to continue with. I try to remember what Haymitch has told me countless times before. _It's not your fault, it never was, and it never will be._ I repeat this until I can stifle my sobs to a small gasp every now and then.

My mind fleets to Haymitch, the only one I have left, besides Peeta— who is extremely busy with his bakery. Haymitch could have left for the capitol, fled this place once I was older, but he didn't, he stayed with me. I instantly wonder why. Was he scared that I might loose it? Did he actually care for me? Or was he just too drunk? My mind subconsciously makes an answer D— all of the above. But I still can't choose which one it is out of the four options.

I get out of bed, walking over to take a shower. I stand in the shower for about twenty minutes, and for some reason the hot water takes away the guilt… but not all of it. I hop out of the shower and open the dresser pulling out some black pants and a green shirt, just like the ones I had worn in training, but I'm too tired to care now. I walk downstairs only to see the man himself, Haymitch Abernathy, sitting on my couch.

"Hello, sweetheart," he says calmly with a smirk.

"Haymitch, you weren't supposed to come until noon," I say, trying to hide how startled I am.

"Is that all I get? I haven't seen you in a week and a half and that's all I get?" he asks in mock hurt.

"Sorry," I mumble, trying to drive away the sleepy haze I'm in. "Haymitch! How nice of you to come at six-thirty in the morning!" I say sarcastically.

"No problem, sweetheart," he replies as I sit down in an armchair adjacent to him. I can smell the liquor from here.

"Beautiful day isn't it?" he asks.

"Stop Haymitch. I know what your doing and it won't work."

"Sorry," he says raising his hands up in innocence. "It doesn't hurt to try." Ever since we got home from the capitol he's been trying to get me to go hunting, probably hoping for me to find a different cope for the guilt that isn't him twenty-four seven.

After about a minute of silence, I can't bare it anymore. Tears flood my eyes, and I begin sobbing uncontrollably. I sit for a few seconds mumbling incoherent things that don't even make sense to me, until Haymitch comes over and puts a comforting arm around me. Stroking my hair while repeating the same thing over and over again.

"It's okay… it's okay." I shoot up from his grasp.

"It's not okay! It's not! Prim didn't need to die!" I yell at him, I'm pissed and I can't stop. "You don't understand and you never will!" Through the blurriness I see his face. He's genuinely hurt, and he's got a right to be. Because that last part is a lie, he knows exactly what I'm going through because he went through it himself, and still is. He gets his fair share of nightmares too. Guilt floods my mind. But I can't stop, I'm already running out the door, heading straight for the fence that surrounds this district, squeezing under the hole and running into the forest. I keep going deeper and deeper in until I finally sit down on a large rock. Sobbing until it hurts.

I can't help but think; Haymitch got his wish. I'm in the forest.


	2. Tears

"Katniss? Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you…" I hear Haymitch's coming from a little ways away. He's been getting closer and closer, which I have to give him credit for, I didn't realize that he was at least somewhat familiar to the forest… either that or he just got lucky. I can hear him plop down on a rock.

"I'm sorry…" he sighs through his hands. After a minute of toying with what to do I finally stand up. I'm no longer a bratty sixteen-year-old girl who can just run away whenever she wants to. The freshly fallen leaves crunching beneath my feet as I walk over to Haymitch.

"Haymitch?" I ask quietly. Haymitch lets out a small gasp before I can realize that I startled him from behind.

"Katniss…" he murmurs before pulling me into a hug. "Don't do that again. Please!" he says, softly pushing me away quickly, so he can look at me.

"I'm sorry…" I say quietly. I slump to the ground onto the rock that Haymitch was just sitting on.

"Haymitch?" I hear him sigh before sitting down next to me.

"Yeah?"

"Why did this happen to us?" He sighs again before responding.

"I don't know sweetheart… I don't know." That's when it happens. When Haymitch Abernathy actually starts crying. It takes me a while to notice, because he's not sobbing, the tears are merely rolling down his face. I pull him into a hug, for the first time ever _I_ am comforting _him._ He hugs me tighter as my head sinks into the crook of his neck.

"B…" I murmur to myself.

"Hmm?" he mumbles softly. B, he cares.

I shake my head slightly. He clears his throat and helps me up while standing up himself.

"Let's go home," he says, holding out a hand. I nod and grab it, lightly holding his hand. We walk in silence all the way down to our houses. As we're walking down the road I look up; the sun's already setting. Had we really been out that long?

"Katniss?" Haymitch's voice brings me back to reality.

"What?" I say quietly.

"We're here." Haymitch chuckles to himself. "Get lost in your thoughts?" All I can do is nod. Haymitch walks me inside and I take in the surroundings.

"Haymitch this is your house," I say confused.

"I know, I know," he says rubbing his face. "I thought we could both use the company." I nod again as we walk over to his kitchen.

"Take a seat," Haymitch says, while gesturing over to the table. I do as he says as he pulls out some bread, which obviously Peeta brought over. My heart twinges with regret. Peeta and I were supposed to meet for dinner tonight… just as friends obviously.

"Peeta…" I murmur out loud. "I was supposed to meet him today." I look up to see Haymitch at my side, resting a hand on my shoulder.

"It's fine. Peeta will understand. He's too nice not to forgive you. Besides, you've had a rough day," Haymitch says sitting down next to me.

"I'm not so hungry…" I say standing up slowly and walking over to the couch. I sit down clasping my hands together, my eyelids drooping slightly.

Haymitch walks over falling into his chair.

"Can we talk?" he asks, a sober serious look on his face. I nod.

"Katniss, when I was… young," Haymitch pauses, hesitating, "I knew your father." I look down at my hands, already not liking this conversation. "He wasn't my best friend, but he was _a_ friend." Haymitch pauses again to look at me.

I just fidget with my hands.

"After the Hunger Games he helped me get through… everything. People didn't like me too much; they kept saying the games changed me, and I guess in some ways they were right. But, your father was the only one who cared enough to stick around, and he soon became my _only_ friend." Haymitch closes his eyes, most likely thinking of what to say next.

"When… when he died…" Haymitch trails off.

"Haymitch I'm not so sure I want to talk about this anymore." He nods looking down at his hands, both gripping the other tightly.

"I think I'm gonna go," I say abruptly, standing up. Haymitch quickly looks up, but slowly nods and turns back to his hands.

I walk to the door and rest my hand on the doorknob, yet I pause. 'See you tomorrow.' Three simple words to let him know I don't hate him. Even just bye would be fine. But no, I just open the door and walk out into the crisp cool night.

"Sorry we're closed," Peeta says from behind the counter, his back turned to the door.

"Peeta…" I say slowly. He whips around, faster than I can blink.

"Katniss? What's wrong?"

"Haymitch knew my father," I say matter-of-factly. Peeta holds up his hand, as if to say 'Say no more.' He knows what happened to my father. His best friend's father was in the coal mine accident; Peeta constantly had to comfort him. I remember seeing him in school giving a tight hug to a boy with tears rolling down his face.

"Come on," Peeta says leading me to a staircase, "Let's go to bed."


End file.
